Sigh ...

Was thinking to write a post for tonight, about cny, but ... something happened. It's too sudden for me. I dunno what the hell happen to me, something just hard to handle. I cant tell, i cant let anyone know. Include him, if you saw this post, i beg for you, don't ask me what happened before i writting this post.

I knew i too over for tonight, i knew i'm wrong. But why ... since i become your gf, i cant be the 1st one to know everything about you, i'm not the 1st, but them, you'll ask help from them, let them know in the 1st. Everytime i'm just the last person to know what happened to you. And when i know, it's not from your mouth. Is from the person who know i should be the one who know what happened to you in the 1st. Why? Why am i always be the last person who know everything about you in outside? Why i'm not the one who helping you when you are in trouble? You made me very hate myself you know? I hate i being the last person to know everything about you, and i'm the one who being helpless for you. What the fcuk is this? You though i not care you at all, but if i know everything about you why not? Why i always be the last one?

Now, i got no direction at all, just feel like fucking no mood. Thinking not to sleep tonight, but what to do? In your mind, maybe you will though i doing something that i should not do. I can tell you, I dint!

And now, i'm thinking some way to help you. This is what i can do for you, in the last.

Take care yourself.